Lady X

Here's a short story from the “Irony Can Be So Ironic” Department.

About a week after I started my new job, I noticed a tall, attractive, young woman walking throughout the office. When I say ‘attractive’, I don’t just mean by everyday people standards. I’m talking ‘Megan Fox looks like Larry the Cable Guy standing next to her’ attractive. I know a good-looking lady when I see her, but rarely do I feel like I'm in a Looney Tunes cartoon where the eyes bug out, the tongue hits the floor, the feet start running in place, and the heart protrudes, pounding visibly through your chest. I had one of those moments. For the sake of this missive, we'll call her Lady X. She stands about 6’1 and has curves to end all curves. She makes Christie Brinkley from 1983 look like Rosanne Barr from 1989. Suffice to say, she is hot.

My desk is situated next to a main walkway. Lady X doesn’t work in my department, but she walks past my desk constantly when going on breaks or to lunch. In the beginning, I tried in vain to get her attention, to no avail. I would look up at her when she passed by, nod, smile, say hello, & do everything short of exposing myself. The woman never even looked at me! When I’d walk past her down the aisle, I’d go through the same routine. Nothing! No smile, no eye contact. I became strangely fascinated with her for a brief period. I wanted to find out her story and figure out why Lady X was so aloof. She’s literally said two words to me: thank you. That was the one time she came back from lunch right behind me. I held the door open for her, but she STILL didn’t even bother to look at me.

It was then that I decided Lady X wasn’t worth the effort. Slowly but surely, my interest wained. I'd see her walk down the aisle, but I didn't attempt to catch her eye. More and more, my thought process became more of an ackowledgement, like 'There she is again', instead of 'Why won't she talk to me? She's gorgeous. I'm a nice guy. We don't really work together, blah blah blah...'

Fast forward to the present. Your friend and humble narrator is now happily in love. My eyes bug out on a routine basis. My heart is constantly protruding, pounding through my chest. My tongue doesn't hit the floor, but that's because someone special is there to catch it for me. :-) I decided to take the elevator down to the cafeteria today. I approached the lift, and looked to my left. Low and behold, there stood Lady X. Wouldn't you know it, I did not have the urge to smile at her. Really, what's the point? I barely made eye contact. Surely, it would have been polite to at least say hello. Not that I'm overtly mean, but I couldn't even muster up the desire to do that. Simply put, the woman who once turned my head and peaked my curiosity was standing right there, and I didn't even care. My thought process was pretty much 'Oh, it's you. Meh.'

True to form, she didn’t even glance at me once - not when I glanced back at her, not when we entered the elevator, and not when we exited. She may be tall, young, tan, toned, and curvaceous, but she’s just another girl with an attitude. Whatever reason she has for not looking in my general direction, it doesn’t matter anymore.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should always treat people with respect, even if they disgust you for whatever reason. Even if you think you’re all that, even you’re having a bad day, be courteous and human. You never know what opportunities will walk past you when you’re not making eye contact with them.