Skittles vs. Wonder Monique

Editor's Note: The following post is Rated-R by the Skittles Blogging Association of America. This is one of those stories that's perfectly suited for adults, but not for the kiddies. No matter, I'm pretty sure anyone who's under-age doesn't know how to access my blog anyway....

In every relationship comes a handful of memorable moments. I'm talking the kind that are told and re-told to friends at parties in a drunken haze, the kind of moments that elicit laughter that such abbreviations as LMFAO cannot properly justify. Yesterday, my sweet Pepper and I shared one such instance.

It started out innocently enough. We were talking about Jen and her behavior when interacting with her closest friends. Apparently, there's a video that is "must-see," but that's besides the point. :-) My purpose last night was to show her how I interact(ed) with my closest friends. I found an old video where Ryan and I went to the Belmont Park Fair and met Mick Foley. I popped the disc in, but it didn't start automatically. I opened my seldom-used Windows Media Player and hit a lot of buttons with no real clue how to start it up.

The next thing I knew, I was greeted with an old video clip of a woman with gigantic natural breasts, slapping said melons together feverishly. This lasted all of three seconds, and was worth a lifetime of humiliation for those who are unfortunate enough to have a jealous, psycho wife or girlfriend.

In the interest of full disclosure, this was a video clip that I downloaded about two years ago. It would appear I hadn't deleted it from my playlist, as I never use Windows Media Player. I have not seen it in several months, and since I've met Jen, I have not looked for any other forms of online "entertainment."

Fortunately, I do not have a jealous, psycho girlfriend. I have the greatest, kindest, most giving, most understanding woman in the world! I was horrified by my gaffe at first, but wouldn't you know it, my awesome lady love was not phased by it. She thought it was rather funny, and was pleased that I don't have a secret stash of MALE videos LOL. We both laughed about it afterwards, and for a good portion of today. I assured her that her boobs are the only ones that I care about now, even though she needed no such reassurance. She totally understood! I am the luckiest man alive. After that, my Ryan and Brian video seemed like a PBS show!

By the way, for those of you wondering the identity of the massively-endowed woman hiding in my Windows Media Player, I am not 100% sure. I can no longer locate the evidence. I must have deleted it in my haste; thus, I cannot give a positive ID. However, I'm taking an "educated guess" and blaming none other than Wonder Monique. For all you single men out there (or curious ladies), you can find her info here. I, for one, will NOT be accessing her sites any longer, for I'm in love with my REAL wonder woman. ;-)

And that is how a drunken humiliation story is born.